oooh...can't believe it myself...Ramadhan will be ended few days more...and i still not completing my Syawal preparation...lotsa things need to buy...chores need to settle...and my house like 'tongkang pecah' which i don really have time to do it lately...like i'm going to stay awake on raya night...like other previous raya night...arggghhhhh...this shall be called Syawal Blues...


last night i had my iftar at pan pac klia...to celebrate my aunt's birthday...the food was heaven...we tried to control ourselves...but the food kept calling us...so its not our fault that we act like we hadn't eat for 1 week...i just felt tht my stomache moving around like dancing...

my last entry emo ke...u guys biar betul...i felt so okkk tht day...let me think if there's sumthin' bothering me tht day...mmm...i got it...it bout the master thing...i called my friend...who broke some bad news...not tht i didn't get the master...the place is still not taken...but the facts tht i will not be considered for the place...dunno how to tell it...the reason was complicated...i tried to make it simple...my lect got this girl student who going to complete her master degree at the end of this year...and she was missing in action and no one knew how to contact her...even her families...frm the rumours, she was believed had married without her family approval...so my assumption tht, my lect was "serik" to give tht grant to girl student...and i'm so-much grateful to the blacksheep who already ruined my opportunities...hope ALLAH bless you...hope u find your way back...hope u regret on what u've done...

hari isnin jer sure tak syok...ari ni rasa bagai nk pengsan jer...coz of sakit perut thp melampo...i hate when i had this sakit perut...i felt tht this sakit perut was pykt plg sakit slps nk mati dan beranak kot...though i never felt both of it...maybe this due to my stupid dietttt thing...
dissbkan sakit perut, my perjalanan hidup terganggu utk hari permulaan minggu ini...dan utk mengelakkan terlambat masuk opis...i heading to my company branch yg tak berapa jauh dr rumah...lepak sana kejap...berbasa basi skit...then pegi ke my company site office utk submit report...and before going back to my real place...singgah jap kt umah nk amik brg2...siap sempat singgah kt kedai nk beli kad raya...
dah petang barula sampai kt opis...and still being bothered with my sakit perut...i could not focus on my job...so i just type my friends' add and print out...as i still ngomel bout this sakit perut which followed to the conversation below with my non muslim colleague...

yesterday i met this customer which her company business was handling food industries.....as her company export their product to oversea...so she faced lotsa rules, regulation, term, condition when the audit time comes depends to the country involved...for UK, pest control was their major concern during audit time...and i did know tht thing too...coz mat salleh la, if they found 1 rat pun in their premise, its like ada bombshell in their house...they will move away, call pest control, then bile dah confirm tht no rat exists, baru la diorg pindah masuk balik...so u cannot main2 la dgn diorg pasal pest ni...so from tht export thing, we termasuk topik bout halal thing which been given by JAKIM to food handler business *ayat apa2 tah*...she told me tht during audit by Brunei, the country will sent their JAKIM to audit bout HALAL thing...they didn't trust our JAKIM...when she told our JAKIM bout this matter...our JAKIM said tht Brunei's JAKIM lupa diri, coz time baru nk tubuh Brunei's JAKIM, they sent their ppl to Msia for training...now they thinked they good enuff...but my customer said, she also quite was was with our JAKIM too...as she was Muslim, also her company owned by Muslim, and all staffs were Muslim, this thing wouldn't be a problem...coz we knew mana halal or not...when she submit form for approval of HALAL to JAKIM...the JAKIM ppl told her tht they will inform her earlier for inspection date...so tht they can prepare themself for the inspection...helllloooo ppl...tht's not inspection namanye...if non-Muslim ppl la kan...they can declare their food as HALAL in the form...then during inspection *date had been informed earlier*, they can prepare themselves for tht situation...instead of tht, JAKIM ppl also pesan for anyone nk tht HALAL tag to bring 'buah tangan' for them...so tak kesahla if other Muslim country not believed in our JAKIM...

i dunno how i'm going to write it...it bout yesterday...i had a fight with my only bro...i'm used to be a cool sis...my bro was a quick temper as he the third child...iduunola if u guys had heard this before...what org tua2 said...1 represents tanah, 2 represents air, 3 represents api and 4 represents angin...and next number repeat the list back...dunnola if u guys percaya ke tak this thing...back to the scene...usually i can avoid drpd sbrg pertelingkahan...especially with my bro...when he tried to make me mad...i just stared at him and said no word and left...if not i just called help from my dad...but last night i cannot control myself...and i think this is the 2nd time i could not bear with him...1st time when he teased bout my unachieved dream...which i ended up crying...coz i still regret bout my life till now...sedihkan time nuzul quran i ended up gaduh with my bro...and i juz can't imagine we fight over tht goddamn tv...he wanted to watch senario...while i wanted to watch csi...so from that topic came other topic which heated tht situation...and i can't help myself from ungkit balik everything yg i gave him...i feel so bad now...i never meant to utter all tht things...harap dia tak kecik ati...till now kitorang tak berdamai...he must do the apologise...i'm his sis... this not bout seniority...it bout who cannot control anger ...if i make the first move, it will let him feel tht he was right and keep repeating it...i think it's enuff for me to mengalah...let me be the stonecold...i just know tht my mom will force him to do the apologise thing first...like first one....*tak sabo nk tunggu dia mengalah*

and good thing bout yesterday, i baked taste-licious choc chip cookies...with lotsa cip coklat, walnut and almond...i altered my aunt's recipe...so its going to be my secret recipe...yummy...my sis kata can beat choc chip famous amos...oooohhhhh...thx sis...already got 3 jenis biskut...2 more to go...

today is Monday...i hate Moday...i hope Monday never come...Monday is not my fav day...i wish today not Monday...

i got diaorrhea last day...my glucose level was low...result to insufficient energy supplementation for my body...but there's tonne of work to do...lotsa movement...to prepare the berbuka puasa thing...to pick up my kuzen at s.a and sis at klang...when i thought of it, i felt like i'm superwoman...got the inner power to keep me moving...

then after having my buka posa...my mom noticed my face was pale...she asked my uncle to sent my kuzen and sis back to their place...so i'd chance to take the nap...*felt like hugging my mom*

after all, last night was great...the ppl...the food...though i was flat after breaking the fast *wink*

ooo...finally it comes the day-off...for this week i can rate my week as non-productive...i'm doin' job tht came to the dateline...i'm sooo lazy bump-bump...

hmmm...i did msg my lect...offered myself for tht grant...using emel...and he still didn't reply yet...but my instinct told me tht i'm not going to get it...so i didn't give such high a hope...though i really need tht place...wish this fasting month will bring good news for me... i juz didn't have courage to call him...though tht the fastest way to know the feedback...i'm no good at handling sudden crisis...especially sad/bad ones...now i'm so resah...like menunggu bln jatuh ke riba...*me wishing again*

mmm...i dunno if i was too emotional...but i was so kecik ati with my lecturer...it was bout master thing...i already asked my lecturer to do master under him...but he asked me to carry on with the job till he got new research grant...so i made him to promise me to reserve the place for me as he got the grant...then last few days, i rang up my friend who did her master there...she told me tht my lecturer had received one new grant...and still no one fill it...and i like...what????...why my lecturer didn't tell me bout it...just emel me...or tell my friend...maybe he got other good candidates...and i not fullfilled his requirement...i think i'm not good enuff to get the grant...my friend asked me to call him...but i feel weirdo...if he really think tht i'm worth for the grant...he sure already call me...i just hope he was sooo busy...till he hasn't had chance to call me...*me wishing*...pls call me PROF...

sumone fwd this to my emel..i want to share it with u guys...

PERBAIKI DIRI SEBELUM TERLAMBAT

Saudaraku..
Ketika kereta mewah dan cantik yang kita miliki tercalar.......
Kesan calarnya bagai menyanyat hati kita..
Ketika kita kehilangan handphone..........
Separuh tubuh ini seperti hilang bersama kebanggaan kita..?
Ketika orang mengambil secara paksa wang kita..
Seolah terhempas semua harapan.

Tetapi saudaraku..
Tiada sedikit pun keresahan dalam hati..
Ketika kita melakukan perbuatan yang melanggar perintah Allah..
Kita masih merasa tenang meski terlalu sering melalaikan sholat..
Kita masih berdiri tegak dan sombong
Meski tak sedikitpun infak dan sedekah tersisih dari harta kita..
Meski disekeliling kita anak anak yatim menangis menhan lapar..
Saudaraku.. ada apa dengan kita?..

Saudaraku..
Kata-kata kotor dan sumpah seranah seketika keluar..
tatkala sebuah kereta yang meluncur lalu memercikkan air
pada pakaian bersih kita..
Enggan dan malu kita menggunakan pakaian yang terkena noda tinta;
meski setitik dan kita akan tanggalkan pakaian yang koyak
dan menggantinya dengan yang baru.

Tetapi saudaraku..
Kita tidak pernah ambil kisah dengan
tompokkan dosa yang mengotori tubuh ini..
Kita tidak pernah merasa malu meski
wajah kita penuh noda kenistaan..
Kita pun tidak pernah tahu titik titik hitam terus menyerang hati ini
hingga saatnya hati kita begitu pekat..
Dan kita tidak pernah mencuba memperbaharuinya..
Saudaraku.. ada apa dengan kita?..

Saudaraku..
Kita merasa tidak dihormati ketika teguran dan
sapaan kita tidak didengarkan..
Hati ini begitu sakit jika tidak mengindahkan panggilan kita..
Terkadang kita kecewa saat orang lain tidak mengenali kita
meskipun kita seorang pengusaha, wakil pemerintah, tokoh masyarakat
bahkan orang terpandang..
Kita sangat khuatir kalau kalau orang membenci kita..
dan berat rasanya saat mereka meninggalkan kita.

Tetapi juga saudaraku..
Tidak jarang kita abaikan nasihat orang..
Begitu sering kita tidak memperdulikan azan..
Tidak bergetar hati ini saat lantunan ayat-ayat Allah terdengar
ditelinga..
dengan segala kealpaan dan kekhilafan; kita tidak pernah takut jika
Allah Yang Maha Menguasai segalanya membenci kita dan
memalingkan wajahNya..
Kita pun tidak pernah ingin tahu.........
Baginda Rasulullah saw. mengenali kita atau
tidak di Padang Mahsyar nanti..
Kita juga tidak peduli melihat diri ini jauh dari
kumpulan orang orang sholeh dan beriman..
Saudaraku.. tanya dalam hati kita masing masing..
ada apa dengan kita?..

When you look back on your life
wondering why you chose
not to cross the bridge,
Will you also wonder
what would happen
If you did?

today i still got no mood to do my job...i forced myself to complete report on flies...i need to count all the flies which got trapped at sticky pads...then identified them to their species...it gross...besides flies, i also found 3 lizards been stamped to the pad...after finished counting and and finally typing and print out the reportr...i just felt so bored...as my boss got appointment, it made me easy to walk out from the office...i just can't stand any more minutes in the office...i need fresh air...
and ntah macamana i teringat my long lost friend...actually not a friend..just a guy which i know through phone...time tgh meningkat remaja...me and my kuzen terjebak gak dengan gejala bergayut di phone...so we always called this guy...which my kuzen kate his voice yg plg best among guys yg dia per nah berborak...but i dunno why kitorang terputus hubungan...mmm...let me think...i'm sure no good reason...bile dah beso baru teringat blk this guy...and last few days was his b'day...first2 malas nk wished...coz he seems like ignored all our msg before this...but ari nih i really felt like wishing sumone...and tadaaa...i gave him sms to wish happy birthday...which i neve hope for him to reply back...i just want him to know tht i still remember him...suprisingly, he did replied my msg with thank you word...way to go friend...
for berbuka posa, my kuzen treat us at bagan seafood...more-licious compared to muara ikan bakar...anyone who want to get good seafood...shall come to this place...high recommendation frm me...u not believe ahhh..can ask my kuzen...tada tipu punye...P
 

FOR ONE MORE TIME 'HAPPY 24TH BIRTHDAY H___.MAY GOD BLESS YOU'